The Swandive

do over

Holy.
It has been a HUGE few days since I have last posted. I wish I could say I am sorry for slipping off of the blog every day in Easter thing, but I am not. I missed it, but enjoyed taking life in unplugged for a few days in Denver and home again this past week.
Lots of Easter moments to report.

• Talked to a friend and then another about a thing. The thing that has been eating me up inside for years, since leaving the Episcopal Center. About justice and some people getting away with shit that they shouldn't, but did. About said people getting a do-over in life, a little too close to my life I might add. Friends, I laid it down. It is finished. I have done all I can do. Amen.
• Denver, seriously, who knew it was such an awesome town? Must. Go. Back.
• Two fundraisers in one day. Aeon and MacPhail. Both kicked ass and blew me away. I love giving towards hope and possibility. You?
• Church. House for All and the the community that calls it home--amazing. Write up on my other blog soon. 
• The Veggie Breggo sandwich at The Stone Cup in Lyons, Colorado. Wow.
• Coming home. I love our home. And going away, gifts me that gift again and again.

How are YOU?

I'm listening

Wisdom in my candy dish today.

I'm going to go with it. Easter, the 10th day.

a backwards way of saying it

I sort of have a rule about blogging about work. For the most part, I do not do it. However today, I was reminded, in a not very specific way, how once again I am so truly blessed to do what I do, and for whom I do it for.

Its been a long few years, working through loving the church tribe that I belong to, and having to leave that tribe--or step outside of it for a while--to be the person I feel called to be. I want my church to want me, I want to be a gift and blessing to my tribe. And perhaps I am now, now that I have had some time to walk away, and given myself time to heal. I hope that can be true.

I have a killer awesome gig, working with people who want to be pastors in the ELCA. (I love my job.) Today my job took me on campus to Luther Seminary. When I walked through the doors, a friend from my episco-tribe was there, at a student table handing out information for (I think) Bread for the World. The place and space in how I met her was what I would consider to be "rough waters" and now, that water is well, under the bridge. When I came through the door, she ran over to me, hugged me like she meant it (wow, I love hugs like that) and absolutly squeeled with delight. She looks happy, radiant actually. She is a lovely and wonderful person.

We stood for not that long, catching up on why and how she is at Luther. Then she asked how I am. My answer went something like this:

I am blessed, like beyond measure actually. Sweetie is wonderful, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me really. I mean you know her, she is amazing. And my work, its good. It is really really good. My work treats me perhaps better than I have ever been treated, better than I deserve--I know that for sure. I am here for work right now, I think I might actually be late for my meeting.

And with that, I said I'd send her a note so we could catch up more, and I was off to my meeting (which I was a little late for). She gave me an amazing gift today, my friend she did. I know--and got to say out loud--more and more every day how great it is that I have a job I love as well as a home for myself, my kitty, my love and my friends. I am ridiculously blessed. And today, this 9th day in Eastertide, I am giving thanks. Its exactly where I am supposed to be right now.

things that make me laugh

Like this
Princess: Do you think Martha Stewart wants to follow me on Twitter?
Spooky:  I think she wants to follow you in a Buick.

Sarcastic Lutheran: took the Facebook quiz Which Type of Font Are You? The result: Baptismal.

... and countless other bits and pieces of my day, courtesy of facebook and twitter. What made you laugh out loud today?
Easter, day 8.

Genesis 1:31

God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was  morning, the sixth day.

So, I have not really thought this all the way through, but well, I am six days into this blogging where I see Easter each day, and I think if I were to reflect on what its been like: it IS very good.

Setting about each day knowing that my eyes are on the lookout for a reminder of what it means to be an Easter person, living more fully into this new season, spring, full of new smells, new green buds along every walkway, each sidewalk--even along the walkway headed into the Goodwill in Hopkins (for you MN locals, if you are not shopping here, you should be. Best thrifting in town, hands down.) Buds are cracking forth, and life, is electric--boogie woogie woogie.

Tomorrow, rest. See you Monday.

friends

My day 5 Easter?

Friends. My really really tried and true been around the block, to hell and back, and then hell and back one more time, friends. I love them. I wish that everyone had friends like them.

(p.s. Are you having as much fun as me? Where are you seeing and living the newly sprung spring, easter, joy, life? Where are you finding your aliveness?)

one word

And that word is YOGA.

Easter, day 4.

signs

A few weeks ago a friend asked me to come and help lead a book study on Peter Rollins first book, How (Not) to Speak of God. I said yes (without really thinking much about what I said yes to, or asking questions). Tonight was our first night meeting. I am here to tell you, Easter could be seen in these people. More than that, it very truly felt like the Kingdom of G-d.

Was it a bunch of cool hip young adults? No. White and middle class, not even close. As a matter of fact if you had been a fly on the wall, I can guarantee you never would have guessed who this group was and what they were gathered for. They are beautiful and unlikely and I am blessed to have spent time with them.

Truly, we were living and exploring into the suspended space. And it was amazing. Easter, day 3.

oh nooooo!

It was all set for the end of the month. It is on the google calendar for April 30th for like 2 months. It was  all planned out--just keep the cable till Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens for those of you who are not huge dork fans like me) was on The Chris Isaak Hour on the Bio Channel and then right after (at the end of the billing period) dump the massive crack cable package for basic ten dollar loser cable.

Shitshitshit.

I have a new favorite TV show. It has made me laugh more in the first 2 minutes and 30 seconds than any other show, ever.

Where did I find my Easter in day 2: Whatever Martha.
Best. Show. Ever. Maybe you already know about it?
Its Martha's daughter and her friend, watching old Martha episodes and ripping--on Martha.
Its brilliant.

Its HGTV meets real bitchy life. Its sarcasm in its finest moments. I heart it.

sprouting through

Its day one of the 50 day Eastertide.

It was really fun waking up today, knowing that my eyes were set to look for joy, new beginnings, easter-esque things that might cross my path. What would the day hold? Across facebook it was a smattering of friends sleeping in, resting, or headed back to the grind of day to day life. A friend posted on his status a welcome reminder "to my friends with "back to reality" statuses: I'm not calling you out (OK, I am) but...no! He is risen! The world is changed!" Indeed friend, indeed.

All day I walked through my day expecting to see Easter, which let me tell you is not a horrible way to expect your day into being, each moment as it comes rolling through.

Sweetie and I have been in our home for almost 3 years now, it will be three years in May. In our first year, we just watched our yard explode with flowers and colors and smells. We didn't do much in the way of actually caring for these new to us things. The previous owners did some pretty cool landscaping, and it was fun to watch it pop up all over.

Last year, we enlisted the help of my dad and step-mom--master gardeners--to help with how to manage the plants and flowers and bushes and shrubs. We had some serious work, but it turned out really lovely.

So now we are in year three, and I am SO excited for my first year of actually branching out. And what do you know, I already have a head-start. We have two raised beds in our backyard. Shamefully, they have sat dead or have simply been weeded with good intentions over the past two years. Not this year. Nope, this year, some chives are just barely peeking out and inspiring mine and my sweeties imagination for what will be our first year of growing food.

Welcome tiny tiny little chives. Welcome new growth, new life.
Welcome Eastertide.

50 days

 Each year (at least for the last 10 or so) for the week before and all during Ash Wednesday services I say my prayers and ask G-d "how might I keep a holy lent? What can I do to walk these 40 some odd days with You towards the journey into your death?"

In the past I have both given up and taken on. I have given up coffee, and once caffeine all together. I gave up TV one year. I have tried adding: reading, praying. Truth be told, adding--as a practice--I just find to be really a huge experiment in 40 days of feeling like a total failure. Really don't like it. What was the answer this year? SILENCE. Although the worship was a wonderful, there was no obvious answer or even hints and allegations as to what I thought could serve as an offering to observing and keeping a Holy Lent. Shit.

Fast forward to church, last night. The Easter Vigil.

I don't know how to explain it really. This Lent, G-d has felt silent, distant, far from me. Last night, G-d broke in through the darkness, through the silence and burst into my heart. I can't explain it other than to say my journey this year is not about Lent. It is about Easter.

This is my starting over, my new day. This is my own personal New Years Day. So, every day for the next 50, either here, or on my other blog, I will post. Some days it may just be a picture, some days a poem. It might be a story from the day, and it could be just one word. In any event--my journey and practice for the next 50 days until Pentecost (my favorite church holiday) will be to point out a sign of beauty, spring, hope, love, joy. I can't keep looking for the living among the dead. Join me.

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!

Top 20 :: My Ireland Wrap-Up

What seems to be like a ga-jillion years ago, my friend Mindy asked me to answer the question "When did your love affair with Ireland begin?"

And so I have, been telling a few stories here and there. I think I am not even half way through my first trip to Ireland. Here is the short version followed by my top 20 list of reasons and things of what to do and what I love about Ireland. Here goes.

When last we were on vacay in the story, Tim and I had just kissed the Blarney stone, and were now headed for Doolin, a small town on the west coast of Ireland, known for its traditional music in pubs (like the amazing Gus O'Connors) and being just a stones throw from the Cliffs of Moher. As I have mentioned, we did not have reservations anywhere we travelled, so each town we rolled into we would start with a pint at a local joint, and typically ask our server or bartender where to go. When we rolled into Doolin/Lisdoonvarna we happened to stay at the BEST B&B in all of the west of Ireland: The Fernhill Farmhouse. Old, yes. Cold, ummmm... freezing. But, the best food, a warm space heater, and the best host I have ever to run across. Best. We pulled in rather late, and our lovely keeper Suzanne, had us snuggled in, in no time. She got our preferred breakfast time and off to bed we went. Through the night we heard noises, clangs and wind. When we got up, our hostess asked if we slept OK, and sorry about the noise--her best girl kept her up all night--calving. Yes, a baby calf was born and the breakfast was still right on time and the best eggs I think I ever had. From farm to table, her hospitality was second to none--I can still taste the ham. So good.

That day Tim and I would head up to the Cliffs. And he proposed marriage. And I said yes. With love and breathtaking views, a new baby calf, and my heart having come home--I think I was caught up in it all. I loved Tim so, I really did. He was sweet and kind, and it was a beautiful proposal. (As we all know now, it was not to be, but that does not diminish it in my mind at all.)

So from there I could go on and on and on. But I think I am ready to end the story. I am ready to tell you what my top 20 things I love about Ireland, its people, and my travels are. I hope this is ok, and if you want more story-telling, please let me know. I am sure I have one or two more to share up my sleeve--I did go back two more times, and the last was on honeymoon. Sooooo.... perhaps you will talk me into it. But until my next stories I give you my top 20 / top 10.

If you are going to Ireland:

1. Do the bus tour in Dublin. Its cheap, cheeky and really quite good. And follow it up with a visit to Trinity College and the Book of Kells exhibit.
2. Go to Midleton, or if you are in the north, Bushmills. And when they ask for "volunteers" raise your hand. Really. It will come at the end, and be quick and enthusiastic. Trust me.
3. Fish and Chips in Galway? In all of Ireland? Mc Donaghs. I still dream about it, 5 years later. Mushy peas, curry chips, smoked whatever they have. The. Best.
4. If you do stay in the west, choose somewhere around Lisdoonvarna and Doolin. Its only 40 minutes from Galway and so many things to see and do and drink. Stay with Suzanne at Fernhill Farmhouse. She has the biggest hands, and heart of anyone you will meet.
5. Andy's Pub in Monahan County, Monahan. Paddy, the bar-tender is the best bar-keeper anywhere and let us stay and get more drunk than I think I may have ever been in my whole life. He kept us up, filled us with a taste of every kind of whiskey they had in the joint, and let us even tend a little bar for ourselves. Like a dream come true, one I will hardly forget--or rememeber.
6. Ballyvaughan. The Burren College of Art, and nestled right behind it is the best Italian restaurant anywhere. I swear. I stayed in this little town for one week, and ate there 4 times. I wish I knew the name of the place, but its seriously right behind the college. And so worth driving across the country for--the art and the food.
7. You won my heart Ardara. I will be back, again and again if I can. The shops, the coast, the driving and nearly taking my life each time coming in and out of your little slice of heaven. I love you Ardara.
8. Giants Causeway. Tourist-y, yes. Breathtaking, absolutlely. A fave and not to miss in the north.
9. The "secret pub" in Sligo, Ireland. The only way I know to get to it is to meet a nice man whos  name is Sean at the pub with the peat fire right in town (McGarrigles, 11 O'Connell Street), get your drink on whilst playing cribbage. Invite nice Irish guy over and buy a few rounds, laugh and be open to whevever the wind takes you. Turn and ring the buzzer, wait for the wink and nod and you are in.
10. Derry, or Londonderry. A facinating history, this walled city has a great hostel, some lovely groceries, and my favorite place--the Holy and Fancy Goods shop. When I go back, I am not going to pass up the best holy kitch that you can find anywhere in the world. Nope. I have not yet found this lovely item, and don't think I will. I will be back Holy and Fancy Goods shop, I will. 

The next 10 items are just random whatnot that I love:

1. The book, Trinity, by Leon Uris. Love it, read it, have a few copies. Found at any second had shop. A great story with history, intrigue and love--in Ireland.
2. My friends at IKON collective, in Belfast. Jonny, Kellie, Pete, Willow. Love them.
3. Ken Edge and the rest of the Riverdance folks from the mid to late 90's. In its time, it was specatular. Truly and really.
4. Irish Fair, the first weekend in August each year here in St. Paul. So much fun. So huge. Great music.
5. Fish Pie. Done right--with rich cream sauce, in puffy pastry, with fresh fish and potatoes and a few veggies. Mmmmm. Brown bread and rich cream butter with a hot cup of soup--perhaps a guinness stew or fish stew.
6. Music. From traditional reels to U2, from new age-y Altan and Clannad to Glen Hansard and The Swell Season. I seem to love it all.
7. A pint of Guinness, and a nip. My favorite is Powers.
8. St. Brigid of Kildare. Her feast day is February 1. I feel like she is my personal Patron Saint. A great post about her--I love this one. This is my tattoo image of her. And a good web resource. I feel drawn to her in some beyond words way. It started by visiting her bizzare well, and has continued to this day. 
9. The accent. Really. I mean, really, is that not on your top 10 list? I can own it, admit it. Love me some Irish accent.
10. Planning for the next trip. Next up, Belfast. After that, the Ring of Kerry. Perhaps getting over to the Rock of Cashel that I missed out on the first time.

Thanks for staying with me friends. And thank you Mindy, this has been great fun.