The Swandive

a new look

Yeah, I am just trying on the new look, seeing how it fits. (comments about the look are welcome) I am still the same ol' me. See, its Friday, and I am taking a shot at the friday 5. I know I know, its been a while. Anyway, here goes.

Revgalblogpal Friday Five: Positive Potpourri Edition
Will Samma says: Greetings friends! It's been awhile since I've contributed to the posts here at the revgalblogpals website, but I agreed to step into the Fifth Friday of the Month Friday Five slot.

So here I be.

As I zip around the webring it is quite clear that we are getting BUSY. "Tis the season" when clergy and laypeople alike walk the highwire from Fall programming to Christmas carrying their balancing pole with family/rest on the one side and turkey shelters/advent wreaths on the other.

And so I offer this Friday Five with 5 quick hit questions... and a bonus:

1) Your work day is done and the brain is fried, what do you do?

Couch surfing of some sort. For the last I don't even know how long, it has been watching an episode or 3 of The Wire, the second greatest TV show of all time. It just ended on Tuesday night. I am already feeling a bit lost. What DID I do before The Wire? *ugh*

2) Your work week is done and the brain is fried (for some Friday, others Sunday afternoon), what do you do?

Celebrate with some thai food, a hot tub, and listmaking. (yeah, listmaking.)

3) Like most of us, I often keep myself busy even while programs are on the tv. I stop to watch The Office and 30 Rock on Thursday nights. Do you have 'stop everything' tv programming or books or events or projects that are totally 'for you' moments?

*sniff* See above. Well, actually, now that I think about it, my other stop and watch is actually a whole channel, BBC America. A little 'You Are What You Eat' followed by 'Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares', that tends to stop me in my tracks. Other than that the only thing that brings me to a full stop is Sweetie, and whatever her heart desires.

4) When was the last time you laughed, really laughed? What was so funny?

Last night, with my FAB-u-lous hair man, James. He, is magic, and in addition to being the best hair stylist, ummmm.... EVER, is a true cut-up in every sense of the word. Do you live in the Twin Cities and need a new hair man? I'll hook you up.

5) What is a fairly common item that some people are willing to go cheap on, but you are not.

Toilet paper. And produce. But really, toilet paper.

Bonus: It's become trite but is also true that we often benefit the most when we give. Go ahead, toot your own horn. When was the last time you gave until it felt good?

No tooting. I can't remember. Its either sad or I am becoming really Lutheran (not like its a bad thing, just a don't toot your own horn thing).

I AM "married"

My beautiful friend at Choral Reef wrote a beautiful post in honor of Write to Marry Day, today. Please go read her post, its so amazing. Better than mine will be by a long shot. But, she invited me to write, so here I am.

Here is the thing, I have been thinking about it all day, building a case, laying out an argument, coming up with all the clever zings that would convince you, beg you, ask you nicely or even belittle you into knowing, KNOWING that the right to marry for all people is just what needs to happen. If I lived in California, I would vote NO on Prop 8.

But you know what, I can't argue this point. Why? Because it is just simply the right thing to do. No drama, no arguing. I know in my lifetime, I will get to move on, and stand up and speak out for justice issues that I am really passionate about, like hunger and homelessness. 

But until then, you'll get me, and others, yammering on about why I want to be afforded the same rights as my straight married friends. What rights you ask? My friend over at Choral Reef says it best I think.

There are more than 1400 federal rights and protections that accompany a marriage license. We have exactly zero legal standing as a couple, despite our eleven years together. 

Sweetie and I are just two years in, and I could just throw up thinking about my friend, and her beloved, without equal rights/protections for 11 years. *ugh*  In Minnesota there 515 laws. 

Look, I am happy to talk to anyone, any day, any time about why this is the right thing to do. But for me, the only thing I can think to do is to be a witness. My life, OUR life, will be our message. I love Sweetie, more than I ever thought I was ever capable of loving anyone in the whole wide world. God willing I will be beside her for all of my days and hers. I took those vows on November 11, 2006 and I intend to keep them. I am no freak, I do not want to wreck anyones marriage, I am no threat to anyones relationship.

Will you speak out with me, for me this political season? Please?

(You, yes you. All of you. I am not kidding. Yes, even you. You who make faggot/gay jokes on facebook pictures, you who are voting republican, you who have 3 children, and you who went to high school with me. YES! You. Please, I am asking, begging, pleading. Please.)

part deux: VOTE

as heard in my iTunes today

made by xianjessen
Originally uploaded by boyshapedbox

Brilliant, the flow chart and the man.

a confession

The confession booth ans Halldór
Originally uploaded by Gunnella

**Non church geeks beware of this total church dork rant.**

Its been a bit rough going lately. But, that is not my confession.

What my confession IS is a realization that the way that I used to get through the really, really rough times was through switching the radio station from MPR, to the praise and worship station. In the Twin Cities its called KTIS. Friends, I am a recovering praise and worship arm waving, hand lifting, groan affirming while praying Christian. (Although sometimes I still whisper "yes" when I want to affirm someone elses prayer, I do. Whatever.)

Back in the day I used to listen to KTIS all the time, I was belting out "Lord I Lift Your Name On High" with hand motions and the whole thing rolling down interstate 94. As long as I am confessing, I used to know all the songs, and even hit a praise concert or two.

Now, I am not at all trying to insult my friends who are down with P&W. Whatever you need to get your spiritual freak on, I say whoo hoo and let your freak flag fly. I won't judge.

But, here is what I will do.

I will ask you if you believe what they are singing. I will ask when you call God "He" and "Father" and "Him" and "His" if you really believe in God having gender. I will ask if the theology that is sung and flung on these stations is what you really believe. Like... really.

I have been having a rough time lately. I turned off the member drive on MPR (whatever we all do it) and thought to myself "yeah, a little heartfelt singing to my God might just be the thing that could really bring me comfort and healing, like the way that it used to." I turned on KTIS, and heard all about my gender-bound God, who wishes that I would do more for Him.

And you know what, turning my radio station did bring me comfort. I learned that I have changed, and that is a good and comforting thing. I have been transformed, I have grown. Yeah, I know, its not a pithy praise and worship song. But when I realized this, I sort of stopped, right in that moment of realization, and was grateful. I praised and gave thanks to God, quietly while pushing the button on my radio, to switch back to the member drive, and said thank you God. I love a very big, expansive, inclusive God.

God, thank you. For where I have been, for laughing at me, with me, for me and through me. Thank you for the many tongues and tribes and hymnals and songbooks you speak through. Thank you for not judging me then, or now. Thank you for teaching and reminding me not to judge, you are right, its so ugly. Thanks for showing up. You are an awesome God. Thank you. Amen.

when in doubt

5 things about me (that are different than the last time I did this). Brought to you by the letter S and the Committee for the Swandive Needs a Little Inspiration. 

1. I am currently a bit frustrated with my inability to pick a photo program (iPhoto, picasa, flickr, etc.) in which I will import ALL my photos, and finally, FINALLY, make that wedding photobook. Yeah - thats my two year wedding anniversary goal. (taking suggestions)
2. I have just updated my blogroll, both here on the blog, and in iGoogle. *ahhhhh* Better. 
3. I have a new job, un-paid, and I love it. I am the new e>vangelist / Community Catalyst for Evolution Through Vacation. Will you go and check it out, and throw some feedback my way? Please?
4. I love The Wire. A lot. 
5. Apple season, pretty leaves, cool air, sweaters and firing up the hot tub: Fall is here. Its my favorite time to live in Minnesota. 

post debate... *sigh*

What is it about Joe? He's a plumber, he drinks six packs. I don't understand this strange person that the McCain-Palin ticket keeps speaking to. I'm no  elitist. I just don't get... it. Them. And Joe. I wonder if I am as confusing to Mr. Joe as he and his needs in a president are to me.

On the serious side: Pro-abortion. C'mon. No one, not one, is pro-abortion. There is no pro-abortion movement. There is pro-life, a movement that sadly does not typically speak to all life by including the poor, the oppressed, the marginalized, the imprisoned and on death row in its argument. It limits the definition of life it will advocate for and focus on to one issue: the unborn. Then there is the pro-choice movement. This movement is about advocating for a woman's right to choose. It is not PRO abortion. 

I screamed. I said "huh?" a lot. I laughed, and almost cried. Oh, the drama of it all. 

Bring on November 4. I am ready. Are you?

marriage is funny

No, really. Its funny.
Thanks Choralgirl.

(inhale) and.... ahhhhhh.

Yes, it does get easier.

where you been?

(from Verse and Voice today)

Show me a dreamer and I’ll show you one of God’s heartbeats for the human race

- Joan Chittister

Lately, with too much stuff coming into my inbox, the verse and voice seems to get the delete button, without much of a second look or thought. Not today.

"Where you been Swandive?" you ask yourself.

"Dreaming," I would reply.

"What cha' dreaming about?" you ask.

Well, all sorts of stuff. Like about November 5th, you know, the day the ads and debates and politic'ing goes away. I have been dreaming about what it would be like to be rid of my anxieties and fears. I have been dreaming about what meeting all sorts of new people lately is about. I have been dreaming about the upcoming wintertime, and the fires in the fireplace, and the nights looking up at the stars with my beloved from the hot tub.

I have been dreaming about my new "job", and where it might lead me/us. (New job but also have not left my existing one, because, well, much longer story there. But I still am at regular 9-5 m-f gig.) I've been dreaming about winning the lottery.

I have been dreaming about my place in Gods world, exactly created as I am: a freakishly passionate gal, with a heart big enough to warm a 12x12 room (at least) but riddled with fear and insecurity and trying not to show that side of me, and just put the energy out there that I am, IN FACT, all that. Its very exhausting, being me.

The quote today reminds me, that God loves me, a dreamer, where and how I am today, because or inspite of exactly who I am. And that, my friends, is a good thing.

What can you do while pooping?

www.maps.google.com/vote

You can be like Julie. And while she is no Sweetie, or Ellen, or Leo, she is kinda cool. Like you.