The Swandive

goodbye 2007

It's been quite a year. It feels good to remember all of it, bless it, and send it on its way. There have been hellos and goodbyes - hurts, changes, new friends, marriages, celebrations of all sorts.

I have grown.

Adding to my list of resolutions:
( So far I have resolved to be a better auntie, quit my nasty smelly habit, and find a faith community.)

• Take more photos.
• Finish our wedding photo album.
• Refine my thank you card skillz.
• Travel to at least one place I have never been.
• Get a merit raise at work.
• Keep my calendar mostly clear and open for impromptu fun.
• Make the YWCA a 4x per week habit.
• Organize my art space and figure out what next to create.
• Purge old emails, cards, scraps of needless paper - and organize what I have left.
• Organize myself electronically.

My friends, lurkers, loves, and family - thanks for walking with me this year. Thanks for saying hi, voicing your feedback, for your cyber hugs, for your off-line emails and updates, and sage advice. Here's to an amazing 2008. Let us focus on the love in front of us, heal what we can, walk away from what we can't, find the love in all creation and strive for tomorrow while whooping it up in the moment - in the now - which is all we have.

Ease on down, ease on down the road.

oh and while I am at it

The most beautiful girl in the world will turn 2 in a few weeks. Ain't she sweet?

resolve thy self

It has been a wonder-filled, delightful past few days. Christmas is here, winter solstice is bringing with it more daylight, and 'let it snow' seems to be mother earth's theme song.

Sweetie and I have been social - but not overly so. We have seen old friends, new friends, best friends, family friends, (family too) as well as seen a lot of each other. It is almost as if the season is saying 'sit up! take notice! life IS beautiful!'

As the new year approaches, I think I'll write down some resolutions that have been popping into my conscious mind lately.

One:  Be a better auntie (more active, more involved) with my nieces and nephew. Namely more time with this sweet sweet girl, my BellaBoo.

Two:  Yes folks, this will be the year I kick the ol' nasty habit. This is MY year.

Three:  Find a church 'home' or at least a place to hang my heart for a while - while I put this ol' humpty dumpty back together again.

That's all for now. More resolutions to come. Do you keep lists? Resolve anything for the new year? Do you tell or keep it to yourself? I'll name a few, but will in fact be keeping some just all to myself - to be revealed later.

Love and only love.
 

I can't believe it took me so long

I finally saw the movie Sicko.

I can't believe what I saw. I can't quite process what I saw. I mean I knew, but now, I know. Or at least I have a part of the story. One side - sure. But really what is the other side of the argument? A guy from Canada, actually quite a few said something like - well if we take care of one, why not everyone? I mean who will care for the 'least of these?'

My sweetie was home all day today, really ill. But - its not life threatening or anything. We had a huge ordeal with medical care right after we were married (yeah - I said it - married, I am done playing semantics). It was awful. She was sick for months with a mystery dis-ease. She is better now, and we together are fine. I won't spend any time wondering what if, and how lucky we are that what if was not truly what could have been. But for real yo.

Our health care is laughable. What are we doing, really doing about it? I won't feel hopeless anymore. I do care about the 'least of these' in my midst. What can ONE person do?

Vote. Speak. Ask questions. Elevate the conversation to be about abundance, and not lack of resources, most of all love.

Reason #287 why I have the best job in the WORLD

My boss just shared with me this article. Which makes me laugh out loud. Seriously. It's from todays Minneapolis Star Trib Opinon page. A quote...

I have been asked many, many times on the campaign trail if I believe in a so-called separation between church and state. And my answer is always the same: Jesus is a friend. A buddy. He's someone I'd call if I was bored on a Tuesday night and wanted to get a beer and some nachos and maybe watch a game. If a funny thing happened at the office, something that made me laugh out loud, I'd call or text him or shoot him an e-mail. Would I call him if I had to move furniture? Yes. Would I borrow money from him? Probably not, as I have tried and, although one of the nicest people I know, he's very weird about money.

Does your job make you smile, laugh, feel really really really good? No. Get a new one. Seriously, mediocrity SUCKS. Get livin'.

oh all right, all right!

For fun, for Christmas, for the heck of it.
From my friend D.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? 
"Wrapping paper" which means something from my big box of paper I have been acquiring for well over 10 years now. Its other peoples paper, stuff I find, and stuff I once got at this fancy paper place that went out of biz. Super sweet score. And of course I re-use the gift bags that I get, for lunch bags or gifting opportunities.

2. Real tree or Artificial? 
I grew up with a real tree, and Christmas morning there will be one at the fam's, but for me and my house, artificial. I don't know, I like it. It seems less wasteful. And I am out about it now. No real tree snobbery for me.

3. When do you put up the tree?
When I damn well feel like it. Sometimes it goes up - some years, not so much.

4. When do you take the tree down?
See answer #3. The tree has come  down as late as St. Patricks day in the past. Priorities.

5. Do you like egg nog?
What is that nasty stuff anyway? *pblthththt*

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
None come to mind, as they were all really great.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes, see previous post.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My sweetie, her parents and my Dad and Des. But I think I/we have some good ideas this year.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Siblings.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I have officially given up. Setting my sights on being awesome at thank you cards. 

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Troll doll earrings, although I wish I had them now.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Elf. Hands down.

13 . Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
I don't think so, but I would.

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Mimosa's with eggs benny , Christmas morn'.

15 . Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear, it came pre-lit with clear. Looks pretty.

16. Favorite Christmas song?
Jingle Bells by Barbara Streisand only. Best. Version. Ever.

17 . Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Both.

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
If I had to, most likely. Only if accompanied by music.

19 . Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Morning, eve, two days later, I open when people will let me.

20 . Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Nothing. I love this time of year, and spring, falls pretty awesome, and summer - ugh! Get it? Annoying a-schmoying. Why talk about it or believe that annoying even exists?

21. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Rainbows. For sure rainbows, cause' I am gay like that.

22 . Favorite for Christmas dinner?
A yummy dinner. Of whatever kind. 

23.  What do you want for Christmas this year?
A whole lot of new family pictures. 

24 . Who is most likely to respond to this?
Someone who might need to have a break or is procrastinating doing something - like me.

25. Who is most likely not to respond to this?
What kind of bullying question is that?! Do it if you want friends.  

Holy and Fancy

  Holy and Fancy 
  Originally uploaded by swandive71

At this time last year, my sweetie and I had just ventured back from honeymoon, in Ireland. The Holy Shop: Religious & Fancy Goods was one highlight on our long list of awesome finds and strange places.

Located in Derry, we stumbled into this place. I still wish I had the guts to take another picture of the most glorious thing I saw there. It was a Mother Mary in the center, all lit up, with streams of light and "water" flowing all around her. It was awesome. Like this one - but Mary-fied and way better. Think bigger, shiney, very holy and fancy.

What I did get, was this little bit of fabulous. Its cool for two reasons. One - its a traveling, sparkley, awesome Nativity. Two - it used to be a ring case. Some little beautiful ring was in it at some point. But someone looked at it and saw it could be something else. And what a wonderful little thing it is.

I only wish I could see it for more than 4 or 5 weeks every year. It was a joy to find it this last weekend when we were unpacking all of our Christmas stuff, and I smile every time I see it now.

Tis the season...

  christmas angel 
  Originally uploaded by swandive71

Saturday we spent a good part of the day putting up the tree. This picture is from 2 years ago, since last year we were just getting back and getting re-acclimated to our newlywed status. We didn't put up the tree because  we wanted to bask in wedding feelings instead of  the holiday spirit.

This is the first time we have decorated in our new home. The main floor is twinkling.

Blessed? Ummmm, beyond my wildest dreams. I am overflowing with gratitude and anticipation of the weeks to come, knowing they will be filled with friends, cookies, laughter, and love.

How are holiday preparations going for you?
(*note* I have barely started shopping or making gifts, so life IS beautiful, but not perfect.)

Laughter

Last night, with friends, this quote has never been so alive.

"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities." Jean Houston

Quiz champions, dreamers, huggers and glass raisin’ buddies – the best. Here’s to the upcoming best Marty Grá(dh) ever. *clink*

a whole lot of death

A week ago my friend Darci's life long friend - Chiquita - died after a long struggle with various kitty illness'. The priest from the church I belong to - her dad died, my friend J's brother - died. Our friends dad died - a great man - Ray. We attended the funeral. It was an amazing life celebrated, polka reception and all.

You would have to know me, and I don't have the time, emotional fortitude or finger strength to get the background to this news out - the news that my mom's dad, Zane, died last night. Grandfather, grandpa - NO. It seems like a stretch to even call him my mom's dad/father. But, that is what he was.

I got the message from my uncle, Mike. The phone rang as I was driving home in this gorgeous snow event we are having. I didn't recognize the number (and never talk and drive, ha) and did not pick up the call. My uncle Mike, has not called me in my whole life. It was heartwarming to hear his voice.

He was very matter of fact, noting that there would not be any service, no difficult decisions for those of us left in his wake of his disruptive and destructive life to make - to go or not to go, that will not be a question. My uncle stumbled over his words. We are not a tight family, for some of us we are just learning how to be family.

Its strange, my sister noted that it is sad, to have a life end, and not celebrate it - note it somehow. I guess this is me, noting it.

Goodbye Zane. I am sorry I never had the opportunity to know your better side, assuming you had one. I am sorry that you died with the shame of what you had done for and to my family. I can only hope that in death you can finally be free, from your illness, your awfulness that ripped so many of us apart. Mostly, my mom.

God, I would pray right now, but I ask that your Holy Spirit intercede for me here, 'cause I just don't have it in me. My heart hurts, but for anger and confusion and a strange sense of joy at a life gone, most likely totally unaware of the amazing pain he has caused. God - I put him, my heart, and my family - whether they want to be or not - in your heart. Come, come and sit with me while I struggle to look myself in the mirror for feeling as shit-ass as I do about your child - my mom's dad- Zane. In your mercy. Amen.