The Swandive

home again home again, friday 5 jig

Back from a wonderful drive and visit to Cambridge, MA. Feels good to be home, but I can feel the season making a shift. We are now empty nesters - no friends living with us. Lots of fall projects are looming. So this Friday 5 seems right up my alley.

Friday Five: Seasons Change...

It's Labor Day weekend here in the United States, also known as Summer's Last Hurrah. So let's say goodbye to summer and hello to the autumn. (People in other climes, feel free to adapt as needed.)

1. Share a highlight from this summer. (If you please, don't just say "our vacation to the Canadian Rockies." Give us a little detail or image. Help us live vicariously through you!)

Our friends wedding - it happened on August 4th, but it was so much more than that day. The lead up, the planning, the late nights of porch talk, the pre-wedding party, the big day itself and the day after. It was truly a magical summer - with amazing and beautiful people.

2. Are you glad to see this summer end? Why or why not?
Resoundingly - heartily - NO.
It has flown past, has had so much change, and little time to focus on house projects, going to the lake, and general summertime fun. I feel like I have really missed out on all of it this summer.

3. Name one or two things you're looking forward to this fall.
    1. The colors. I think living in Minnesota we get some of the best fall colors anywhere, and right here in     the city.
    2. The next wedding in October with our summertime roomie - J. Should be fun times. Oh - and going to     the lake more often. Oh - and having a less crazy - more rhythmic schedule. Yeah. Fall.

4. Do you have any special preparations or activities to mark the transition from one season to another? (Cleaning of house, putting away summer clothes, one last trip to the beach)
Pronto pups, Tom Thumb mini donuts, the corn roast, and something on a stick...
The Great Minnesota get-together. Here I come!

5. I'll know that fall is really here when I break out my first sweater and start wearing shoes that don't resemble flip flops.

the measure of a friend

I'm on a vacation of sorts right now, in Cambridge MA. My sweetie and I drove from Minneapolis to bring a car-full of items to our friends. These friends just moved here to go to graduate school. These friends are in my words (don't know what they would say, or what my sweetie would say) - our best couple friends. I love them dearly. They make me laugh, they are great conversationalists, they are smart, kind, generous, great cooks, and generally just awesome. In short - there is nothing in the world that I would not do for these freinds.

It got me to thinking about this word, friends. I am on FaceBook and started a MyChurch account like a million years ago. Lately I have been getting notes and messages from friends, or have gotten friend requests. It feels good, being sought out for friendship, but is that really what we are doing?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love people. Here at swandive, I have met people who I dearly care about. I like to stay connected to them, and pray for them. I like being a part of a larger community, blog land. But this friend thing, it seems to be getting out of control. Like the word love has been abused (I love chocolate, I love downy, I love my partner, I love my car...) - I fear for my use of the word friend.

Am I just being a bitch? What is the measure of a friend?

I don't know where these thoughts are leading. Maybe I am just being picky about language. I guess I never want to lose the *umph* that I feel for my friends. I love them. I don't have many, and I hold them dear.

What do you think?

praying is like "magic"

OK - prayer and praying is not magic, I know that. But friends, you must check this new item out. Mark and the community at Missio Dei have worked very hard to make their own breviary. Read about it here and here.

Yesterday and today I have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, nearly in or in tears before my day even starts. I need to re-charge my batteries. I need something that I am not getting. Like a small child all I can do is rub my eyes, be crabby, cry for "no reason" and make my friends and loved ones around me miserable.

Then there was morning prayer today from The Missio Dei Breviary. There is a brilliant rubric, after a reading from John 15.

Meditate on the love of Christ. Take this time to forgive those who have sinned against you. Give your anger to God as you commit yourself to loving your brothers and sisters. 

Do you have spots you like to go, online or in paper, that help you pray? What are they? Where are they? I commend and urge you to check this new one out. It's way more than cool.

a five kinda friday

Its Friday, it's five questions from the wonderful Sally. OK - lets go!

Cultural Friday 5

(Sally says)   I have spent the week at Summer School studying the Gospel and Western culture, we have looked at art, literature, music, film and popular culture in their myriad expressions. With that in mind I bring you the cultural Friday 5.

Name a

1. Book
A book that has helped, the good ol' Book of Common Prayer. Lame answer I know, but I really do use it more than Sundays. A book that has challenged me, other than the Good one, would be Turning Points,: Decisive Moments in the History of Christianity     by Mark A. Noll. How did it challenge me? I am still trying to read it while staying awake. Any suggestions or people who can heartily commend this one (besides my former pastor who tells me its a must read)?

2. Piece of music
Anything that comes from the Taizé community.


3. Work of art
My dads stuff. I find his work to be so much a part of my inner world, my spiritual landscape, and sometime I will grab a bunch of pictures and post them.

4. Film
In America, The Shawshank Redemption, Frida, and I could go on. But I won't. I'll stop.

5. Unusual engagement with popular culture
My annual visits to the Minnesota State Fair, which started yesterday. It's unusual and amazingly spiritual to me.

That have helped/ challenged you on your spiritual journey.

Bonus: Is engagement essential to your Christian faith, how and why?
Yes - I am 5 senses kinda of gal who needs to feel hear see smell touch my way through and into the mystery and holy. I pray with all kinds of art and gadgets to help. I need people, others, to see Jesus alive in the world. Those people are not normally Christian by the way.

cheerful giving

Its been a long few months of job changes, parties, weddings, and super duper uber family extravaganza times. Tonight was no exception on the uber-fam. It was super movie/DVD making extravaganza with Aunt J, who is making a movie for her 50th high school reunion (hear super lovely old person here). What is awesome is she uses a mac. She actually has two, one eMac and one MacBook. That my friends is the super suh-weeet part. The not so sweet part is actually - me.

Seriously - how did I get roped into this gig of making a movie with my partners aunt? I have now put over 9 hours into the project, and I am convinced I do not have any more treasures stored up in heaven for doing this.

Smack. (this is the noise my inner-me makes when I have just been an asshole)

Once in a while I change my radio station to the conservative happy clappy Christian station. I try to filter out all the proselytizing, beat you over the head with happy Jesus saves (love him or go to hell) talk, anti-abortion, anti-gay, healing and dealing for Christ stuff. Basically, I sing the songs (I secretly love singing loudly in my car random praise songs while I drive in rush hour) and I listen from 9:59 pm to 10:29 pm to one Chuck Swindoll.

Tonight he spent some time in his series about giving, called hilarious generosity. Say what you will, but years and years and years after first listening to him, I am still in awe of this mans ability to dig into the scriptures. He tells and weaves and interprets the OT like no one I have ever heard. Exodus actually jumps to life, like the here and now, when I hear him teach.

Tonight he used texts from Exodus (25 maybe) and somewhere in Nehemiah. He talked about having more than enough. The story was of building a tabernacle and Moses asking the people for specific gifts (that God said to gather) to build it, and they (the people) gave and gave and gave and gave. Till there was too much in fact. Stop giving already. We have enough says the Lord. He reminded me that Aunie J cheerfully asked me to help - and I cheerfully offered and gave of my time. I gave because it is something I like to do, something I am relatively good at and I had it: time and talent to give. Sheesh I can be such an ass and so selfish sometimes.

There is enough time. Enough. Keep giving, give cheerfully, remember that you love what you do, you love helping, and people love and appreciate what you can share. It is all a gift; time, talent, money. It all belongs to you God and sometimes I forget. God - help me remember. Oh, and God - thanks for Chuck. He's real real good. Amen.

Breszny words

According to the Haggadah, an ancient Jewish text, the first thing God made, before anything else, was the Torah. This book was "written with black fire on white fire." The 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet became the raw materials out of which the Divine One forged heaven and earth. Now you, Cancerian, have a chance to get firsthand evidence of the power that language has to shape experience. In the coming days, I suggest that you formulate what you say with great precision. The words you use will have the power of the ancient magical incantation, abracadabra, which is derived from the Aramaic word meaning "I create as I speak."

My prayer then for today (and the thing that gets stuck in my head a lot is)
Open my lips O Lord, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.
Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me...
(Its from the Book of Common Prayer, from devotions in the morning. Its from Psalm 51.)

rainy day catch up

Ok - so the title is a bit misleading. I am not really catching up, really I am slowing down. Rainy days are so good for that sort of thing. My friend asked me if I was going to post today - a little reminder that I have some stuff to say from someone who still checks in on my blog, even though she sees me - all the time.

I'll take this one area of life at a time. The big one is on the job front. I switched again. Yes - two months almost exactly to the day is how much time I was at my last job. It was not the right fit for me, and I could go on and on about why and why not, but it is what it is. Sad. True. Hard. Awkward. But if there is anything I can say without a doubt about myself - its that I know when I know. One year - I think it was 1995 or something - I had a total of 9 W-2's at the end of the year. No fun for tax time - but I cannot stay at a gig when its not right.

I now am able to sit back and say without a doubt that I am in the right place, although not where I expected to be. I am working for the Lutherans, not in a church, but in the Synod office. I have just completed week one, and I know I am still in the honeymoon phase but here are a few reflections about my new life.

1. It feels really good to be welcomed - heartily. To be seen as an asset - rather than having to prove myself or sell my-self or my ideas and not be received.
2. That Lutheran grace thing - its catchy and delightful. I have missed that.
3. I need organization, I have organization, and its a really good thing.
4. People who laugh and have fun together are people I want to be around.
5. I am confident that the actual job I have been called to do - is something I can do. It will challenge me, it will be hard, but I feel like it is just where I need to be.

All this is not to say that my working life has been some sort of purgatory - not at all. It has been a joy to learn and grow from my past two places of employment. I wish that they both could have / would have worked out. They didn't. No judgment, no harm, no foul.

What else? Truth be told - that has been occupying most of my brain lately. Now that the switch is done, my schedule and brain seems to be clearing up. Room is being made for more lighthearted thoughts and moments.

A few random thoughts that I have nearly blogged about this past week - but didn't. I still feel like they are worth sharing.

1. I love shopping at my co-op. A lot. People smile. Its a place of meeting (assuming) like-minded foodies, people who believe putting good in your body means putting goodness out in the world (anti crap in crap out theory). I went there the other night, and just being there gave me a sense of connectedness that I liken to being at church. I love my co-op.
2. We finally watched our recent Netflix - In America. Sobbed. I would say most definitely it now resides in the top 10 of my fave movies. There is just so much to say about this film. It is beautiful, colorful, grace-filled. The characters are funny and sad, and give me hope for love. My next animal, once Tigger passes, will be called Mateo - named after the brilliant character in this film.
3. We are now taking care of a friends Subaru Outback while she is off at seminary in New York. Its a real real real nice car.
4. We have a full house right now, and it feels so good. I love having stuff I can share. Sharing is good.
5. This post is officially too long. So - as always - a promise for more soon. Better posts, more info, all that. Yeah.

telegram from a mad woman

  Before the Dawn 
  Originally uploaded by Craig Shillington

life is good stop
job change has me running stop
anxiety is high every where i turn stop

and i am claiming my inner duck, letting the water
(frustrations, fear, reactivity, panic) roll off my back
STOP

yes today is a new day and it is always dark before the dawn stop

Get this.

When I was visiting friends in New York earlier this year, I found this GEM of a magazine in their bathroom as well as other various places around the apartment.

Well color me pink and smack my rump - I got it as one of my birthday gifts! I can't put the dang thing down. It is worth every last dime, every single page of it. I want to give it as a gift to every clergy, church dork, Jesus lover, even the not so Jesus lover, that I know.

Run, don't walk to get this coming to your home.

Here is what they say about themselves:

Geez Magazine has set up camp in the outback of the spiritual commons. A bustling spot for the over-churched, out-churched, un-churched and maybe even the un-churchable. For wannabe contemplatives, front-line world-changers and restless cranks.

I say rock on and count me in.

days that I love my church

I don't love my church every day. We bicker and we fight, mostly about (pardon my english) shit that has very little to do with God's presence, power, and mission in the world.

Today is different. Today is somber here in Minneapolis. Today, I really appreciate my church, and my bishop. Here is what he says:

August 2, 2007

Statement from the Right Rev. James L. Jelinek

Regarding the I-35W Bridge Collapse

On behalf of the Diocese of Minnesota, we offer our prayers to all who are affected by the devastating bridge collapse in Minneapolis yesterday.  The University Episcopal Center is about a half mile away from the site, and, to our knowledge, all are fine.

 

The prayers and well wishes have been streaming in overnight from across the country. People are checking in with one another - quick emails that say "you ok?" and "we're fine" are filling the airwaves.  We will keep all posted with any news we receive regarding people we know and love who were victims or witnesses in any way. We've had many questions asking, "What can we do?"  For now, we'll let the emergency personnel do their work and let them tell us what might be helpful when they are ready. But we can do what we do best - pray.

We pray for those who have died, may their souls and the souls of all the departed rest in peace.

            Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray for those who may still be trapped, those who are injured, and for those whose loved ones have not yet been accounted for.  We pray for perseverance, and strength, and hope.

            Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray for those whose vocation serves the common good; for first responders, search and rescue, fire fighters, police officers, paramedics, for those who work in hospitals and blood banks; the newsrooms and media centers; for places of prayer- our churches and temples and mosques and our homes.

            Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray for those in leadership; for our governor and mayors, for state and federal agencies, and for coordination of services in the immediate and distant future.

            Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray for ourselves and our children. Calm our fears, comfort our sorrow, and guide our response.  Set us at the difficult task of studying and rebuilding for the future. Grant us patience in the days ahead.

            Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.

O Lord, mercifully receive the prayers of your people who call upon you, and grant that they may know and understand what things they ought to do, and they also have grace and power faithfully to accomplish them; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God now and for ever.  Amen.

Adapted from the Book of Common Prayer

Amen.